Shit I Wish I Didn’t Buy (or Registration Remorse)

1 Mar

Every mother can identify with this, particularly first-time moms: At Babies ‘R Us or Target, they hand you the little registration gun and send you off. They make sure you’re armed with a little booklet called What Your New Baby Needs or Useless Shit We Want You to Buy. Before you know it, you’ve scanned every trinket in the store and then some. And God forbid it wasn’t purchased for you – you head straight to the store and buy it yourself. Most of this crap just ends up cluttering your nursery/living room/bathroom/kitchen until in a fit of organizational frenzy, you toss it in the trash. We’ve been there. We know. Here’s our list of shit you don’t really need, in hopes that your life may be a little less cluttered and a little more simple:

Daisy: In my experience, the damn changing table was the biggest waste of time, money, and space! As I sit here thinking about the changing table that took up space in both of my nurseries, and had maybe 10 diaper changes to its name… All I can think of is the incredible amount of times I stubbed my toes on it. With Diva & Intuiutive, I often used the changing table attachment of our wonderful Pack & Play. More often than that, I used the sofa or the floor. We lived on the huge, thick, soft quilt on the floor; Boppies, toys, and breast pump on the table nearby. Roly poly babies can’t fall off the floor. That was our world. Running to the nursery to change a kid on the changing table was a much bigger hassle, especially with another kid to mind. When Handsome came along, we were in a 2-story house, with all bedrooms upstairs. Again, we LIVED in the living room. Not once did I feel comfortable skipping up the steps to change Handsome’s diaper on the stupid changing table, and leaving Diva & Intuitive downstairs. I won’t convince most moms-to-be to forgo the changing table; I know that. It is definitely on the Babies R Us “things to get or your baby will need therapy” list.

Violet: The first thing I got rid of was the kid’s bathtub. I registered for this $40 tub that came with a matching frog sponge and an inclined baby rest. Guess what? I used the inclined rest and the froggy sponge while Pterodactyl bathed in my bathtub. Now that she can sit up, she bathes in the tub like any other kid. Where’s the baby bathtub? Well, for a while, it was living on the bathroom floor, plotting against my little toe (which has been stubbed indubitably by that damn piece of plastic). I think it’s made its way to the attic now. My advice? Invest in an incline rest for the kid, and put him in a normal bathtub. Fill the tub with about two inches of water. Problem solved.

Daisy: Looking back at my “point and shoot” frenzy with the Babies R Us registry gun, I regret making a loving friend or family member (it was 7 years ago, I really don’t remember who got it, or if we got it after the shower. Sorry. Mommy brain?) spend many, many dollars on two complete sets of matching bedding, sheets, dust ruffles, valances, etc. Sure, it was super cutesy and pink and green, but I think I would have been better off “designing” it myself, and not just taking everything out of the package. I could have made a truly unique room with some mixing and matching, especially since we never used half the crap that came with the set. The comforters? We hung them on the walls. That ridiculous excuse for a diaper holder? Uh, that would barely hold a day’s worth of diapers. With Handsome, I went off the grid. I got simple colors and made my own “theme” using big kid and grown up decor. Who’s room has seamlessly grown up with him? All we’ve had to change is the crib to a super cool bunk bed. Diva & Intuitive? All the crap from their nursery is on the top shelf of their closet. As much as I wish I would have done it differently, I just can’t bear to get rid of it. Hey, Violet, call Hoarders, stat.

Violet: Did I ever use the wipe warming machine I registered for? Once. When we first brought the baby home from the hospital, I stuffed the machine full of wipes, praising myself for considering every aspect of Pterodactyl’s comfort. The first time I used it, my baby had a warm, clean bum. The second time I used it, the wipes came out drier than Nancy Pelosi’s skin. I chucked it soon after. Room temperature wipes were fine for my munchkin, and if I thought they were a little too cool, I’d simply hold them between my hands for 10 seconds. Easy.

Daisy: For my kids, most of the little baby toys you find on the outer aisle of the baby section in Target held their attention for about 3 minutes. Total. Sure, they liked the big stuff, like the Excersaucer, but small toys? They just didn’t care. What did they love? An empty water bottle with a few pennies in it, sealed tight. (Adult supervision, please, obviously.) They would shake the damn bottle for HOURS.

Violet: At my baby shower, I received about ten pairs of adorable baby shoes, including a pair of precious ballerina slippers from my dance-instructor cousin. As delighted as I was to dress my babe up with cutesie little shoes, she was as delighted to kick them off and giggle while I scrambled to retrieve them. Solution? I got little socks with grippers on the bottom with shoe designs on them. (You know: little sneaker designs, Mary Janes, etc.) Now that she stands and half-walks, we’re back on the shoe train, but for 10 months, my kid went everywhere in these little faux shoes that were as cute as they were impossible for her to kick off.

Violet: My secret granola-hippie side loathes jarred baby food. When Pterodactyl was four months old, I ran to BRU and bought a Baby Bullet. I was going to make all her baby food from scratch, dammit! I was going to prepare them in bulk and freeze the excess! YES! Life got in the way, and pouches of Earth’s Best and Ella’s pureed baby foods lined my pantry. Did I make some of her baby food? Certainly. But not with that baby contraption, which lives in its box above my fridge. I used my trusty food processor, and you can, too.

Readers: Tell us what useless baby stuff clutters your life. All complaints are welcome!

© Daisy and Violet 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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12 Responses to “Shit I Wish I Didn’t Buy (or Registration Remorse)”

  1. Aubyn March 1, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    This makes me think that most of the baby products that have been invented in the past 20 years haven’t made motherhood easier; they’ve just made nurseries more cluttered. The only things I can think of that I really didn’t use are the fancy receiving blankets. I got tons of them as gifts and I used one once going home from the hospital. I liked the hospital blankets better; they were softer and easier to wash.

    • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 9:03 am #

      Great point! I keep thinking, as I clean up Pterodactyl’s nursery, “My mother didn’t need half this crap to raise me, and I’m fine!” The last generation of new mothers didn’t have Boppies, Bumbos, Exersaucers, etc…
      -Violet

    • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 10:24 am #

      Aubyn –

      I completely agree! So many of the great “new” baby products are SO unecessary! They just cause a lot of stubbed toes and buyer’s remorse!

      -Daisy

  2. Sabrina March 1, 2012 at 9:40 am #

    Bottle warmer (didn’t register for, bought it myself) – I’m going to mommy hell for this I’m sure…I know, I know they say don’t use the microwave – well let me tell you, my 26lb tank is as healthy as a horse so I don’t think the few vitamins and minerals nuked away hurt him any. And as for being too hot, who is stupid enough to put the bottle in there 1) with the nipple on it & 2) for more than 15 seconds? And who is also dumb enough to NOT shake the dumb thing to mix the warmer parts with the cooler ones?

    Baby tub (didn’t register for but got as a gift anyway)- I agree with this one. SOOO much easier in the reg tub.

    Pack n Play (registered for and got as a gift) – I know many of your mommy readers probably swear by this thing, but at my house all it is good for is holding all of my LO’s toys and bouncy chair AND blocking the way to the hallway. I wish I had asked for and gotten a regular sized play pen…

    Walker (didn’t register for, but asked for and got as a gift – should’ve bought myself) – like other moms I would have sworn by this if I had the right ones, but the joke of a walker I got from my aunt-in-law doesn’t work on carpet. And the one my MIL got for me that is at her house, doesn’t go down far enough for my LO to use & the seat is shaped in such a way that he sits like he is in a chair. Since it doesn’t go down any further than like 12″ off the ground, he just sits there like he’s in a swing and doesn’t go anywhere. Before long he starts to cry because I am sure his feet are falling asleep from just hanging there. So yeah, both of those were useless…

    A lot of the clothes I got (didn’t register for, but got as gifts) – My LO has lived in onesies and pants or footy pajamas since he was born. I have tried dressing him in the other clothing I got but it was a nightmare getting a lot of that stuff off of him when he would vomit all over them (he had bad reflux for the first 6 months of his life) or at diaper changes (anything withOUT snaps was surely made by the Devil himself). So, yeah…I would say 80% of the clothes he got still has tags on it and are in a box in my attic waiting to go to either Goodwill or a yard sale.

    Anyway, that’s my list of “crap I wish I hadn’t bought or gotten”.

    • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 10:26 am #

      Sabrina –

      Great list! Thanks for your input!

      And I agree, any baby clothes without LOTS AND LOTS of snaps is useless and should be burned, along with all the other useless crap we have! lol

      -Daisy

    • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 11:42 am #

      Sabrina,
      I must agree with you about that Pack-n-Play. The only reason it didn’t make the list is because it’s Pterodactyl’s crib when we visit her grandparents. When we’re not travelling, it’s taking up space under her crib. I’m glad I have it for the 4 or 5 times we’ve traveled to my parents’ homes, but I can see that if you’re not a travelling Momma, it’s a bit of a waste. =] Thanks for your input!!!
      -Violet

      • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

        See, I used our pack and play ALOT!

        With my twins, it servd as their “bassinet” when they were small. With my son, he napped in it downstairs during the day, and also used it as a bassinet.

        We also did quite a bit of travelling to grandma’s house, so our pack and plays (we had 3) were well used and abused!

        -Daisy

  3. "The Mayor" March 1, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    Ladies/Gents ( too)…

    It is called MARKETING and the marketing is fabulous tool for the retailers !

    • daisyandviolet March 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

      So true! We buy the crap, and even if we end up reselling it or tossing it, they accomplished their mission!

      -Daisy

  4. Olivia March 4, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    The bumbo seat! OMG I thought I just had to have one because a 3 month old sitting up was soooo cute. WRONG! Not only did my cubby baby’s thighs not fit right he screamed the entire time he was in it (probably because he looked like a fat guy squeezing into a airplane seat).

    Also those swaddlers that have velcro! My son loved to be swaddled in his blankets but between my DH and I swearing while trying to get the right parts to stick together and not to us or DS and the fact it was soo loose on him he would turn purple and wail no sooner than we had him in it.

    • daisyandviolet March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      Those Velcro swaddlers we’re the worst! God forbid you throw them in the washing machine; they’d stick to EVERYTHING else in there! More trouble than they’re worth! Thanks for reading and commenting!
      -Violet

  5. CJ March 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm #

    My all time favorite was the baby bath seat. It has suction cups on the bottom and allowed me to plop my munchkins in there and let them splash and play without the ever pending fear of them drowning if I left for a second to answer a phone or something crazy.

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