Before Violet and I began this blog, we spent many hours discussing it and what it would consist of. We discussed having a cute “getting to know us” page, (About Daisy & Violet) as well as a “Mission Statement“. We thought those would be fun ways for ourselves to set the tone for our blog before we even wrote a post.
We also discussed privacy. We decided to not use our real names, or our spouse’s names, or our children’s names. We gleefully discussed our blog pseudonyms, which are our nicknames from high school, and concocted names for our family. Along with our name discussions, we discussed the issue of photographs of our children.
I read many, many mommy blogs. I enjoy seeing how other families work, and how other mom’s balance life. I read a pretty nice variety of blogs, from Super-Christian Mommy bloggers, to Gay Dad’s and their adventures. What can I say? I enjoy reading and learning about different people. One common denominator in all of these blogs is the pictures. Pictures of their children doing silly things. Pictures of family excursions and vacations.
Now look at our blog. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Yeah, no pictures of ourselves and families. Text messages and occasional random shit that we see, but no precious snapshots.
Why?
We decided that we wanted a sense of anonymity. Not so much for ourselves, but for our children. We think that our children are quite possibly the cutest in the world. We would love to heavily season our blog with photos of our collective brood, but alas, the internet is a fucking scary place. People search for (and find) all kinds of crazy shit. Personally, I don’t want an innocent photo of my kids turning into something naughty, and I can say with certainty that Violet doesn’t either. I’m not looking down upon anyone who posts photos of their children on their blog. I love looking at other people’s photos. Kids are cute. They do cute shit.
Perhaps I’m just a crazy lady, and I shouldn’t over think things, but “not-nice” things have happened. I’ve read that a blogger posted photos of her infant that passed away, and it was discovered that someone stole those photos and used them in.. less than admirable ways. There is a very popular mommy blogger that often posts photos of her children in various states of undress and occasionally some questionable positions and tags them with “pedophilic key words”. That is just asking for trouble. Why do that to your children? (Granted, this mommy blogger is “two pieces of bread short of a sandwich”, and I enjoy reading her “naysayer” blog more than hers. Anyone wanna guess who I’m talking about?)
Maybe we’ll post a picture of ourselves, with a little facial blurring. We did it on twitter.
Maybe one day we’ll post a photo of our kids. Maybe we won’t.
What WILL we do? Continue writing and sharing funny photos of other stuff, and hopefully, you’ll continue reading and commenting.
Do you think I’m crazy? What are your views?
-Daisy
Daisy and Violet 
No photos. It changes the whole dynamic. Somehow the lack of photos makes it more personal; imagination is involved so the reader is involved…and you can picture yourself in the situation as you relate to what you read. With photos, it’s a picture album posted by a talkative parent and the reader is more like a voyeur.
Agree completely! Thank you!
-Daisy
My view is I don’t worry about what someone may or may not be doing with my photos. I take steps to make sure people can’t hotlink but in the end I can’t and refuse to live life by the what if’s. I don’t post pictures all the time, mainly because I hate uploading photos, but when I do I don’t worry about who is and isn’t lurking around the internet corner.
What I don’t post is though pictures of my children nude. Nor do I use keywords meant specifically to attract the wrong crowd (like a certain blogger that shall not be named).
But the what if’s, I just can’t worry about. If I did I’d do nothing ever.
Great points.
Thank you for commenting.
I somtimes feel like maybe I’m a little too cazy about certain things…
But hey, it works for my family. 😉
-Daisy
I have been STRUGGLING with this myself and wrote a post called The One (with issues) because 2 days after I started blogging I posted a cute pic of my daughters and was contacted by MR. CREEPER himself. After being up for 24 hours straight cracked out of my mind I changed everything… thank you for the good reminder…after I just went ahead and reblogged Scott the realists adorable daughter in her bathing suit. I’m taking it down now and will tell him I read your helpful post. Thanks ladies. We have to look out for each other!
❤
-Daisy
Thanks, I needed that Daisy!
Anytime!
-Daisy
All good points and I completely understand why you’ve taken the measures you have. I don’t know why I’m not worried about people misusing Lily’s pictures or name, I’m just not. Maybe it’s a guy thing. I’m more worried about me writing something that could cause problems for me (or worse, my wife) at work. If I ever had an incident like Steph describes I would obviously rethink things. Frankly, my writing’s not good enough to generate traffic without cute pictures of my kid.
Oh, we thought about that as well, which is another reason for the pseudonyms –
Your writing would still have me reading, even if it was in 18pt Lucida Handwriting in neon yellow. I like ya! (Hi, I’m Daisy and I’m a nerd. Lucida Handwriting is my most hated font, by the way.)
-Daisy
Scott, it was bad. So bad I almost quit blogging before I even started(!) My husband encouraged me not to give up just because of this sick-o. I called everyone I knew and begged them to change everything- names, ages, ect. and ‘read them their rights’ about social media/privacy. It was horrific. I still have trust issues and sadly a nice person got caught in my crossfire… I disagree, Scott, your writing IS good enough and WILL generate plenty of traffic…eventually… whether you decide to post pics of cutie pie Lily or not.
It’s sad how careful we have to be these days. -Violet
It is SO sad…but I AM happy for the kind people such as yourselves. I’m learning~ such an understatement~ I found you all because I didn’t quit. Hugs to you, Steph
You are too sweet!
-Daisy
You are too and that is why the sweet will prevail and the sour will turn to mushy globs on the bottom of the pond…scum. D-bags. Peeves this mommy off ROYALLY.
Stephanie, we really enjoy reading your work and sharing in your community. Thank you for being such an integral part of our blogging world! -Violet
Thanks Violet, this gal needed a boost today…a touch of volume, you know? My hair is a little flat around the edges.
Keep up the fun and good work the two of yous… You both bring on the smiles.
Reblogged this on Random Acts and commented:
This is why I have some issues~ feel free to read my comment…thank you, Daisy and Violet.
I so appreciate this discussion. I’ve been blogging for six months and for the first four, didn’t post any pictures of the weeBots, or if I did, it was from the neck down. But the more I read the blogs of others, the more I saw that parents, both moms and dads, were posting pics and often real names, and so I began to post an occasional picture. I don’t use names. I think mostly about whether I’m respecting the bots and their issues. But I will certainly be careful with photos–and probably won’t post another only-diapers shot, even if it is mainly a photo of Gbot packing his own carry-on.
Thank you!
Thank you for commenting! It sorta freaks me out when people use their full names and state where they live.. Right down to the town/neighborhood.. There’s a whole lot of crazies out there!
-Daisy
Oh, and just to clarify, I wasn’t talking about you using your name, I meant in general when people post their full names and locations 🙂
-daisy
After everything else has been said and, maybe, done: The business of a reptile – – this reptile, anyway — is to seek and aquire and then, do.
Whoever does or threatens or suggests harm to, or inappropriate conduct with or handling of, or any other kind of aversive or abusive treatment toward, these ladies, their kids and significant others, or any of their readers (and their kith and kin), if this one learns about it (and one can be sure, later if not sooner, one will), immediately becomes an ingredient for inclusion in a constantly-simmering shit stew, made of (very small) assorted parts and pieces, to be served up to Grindl and Dys and Smaug.
It’s what I do . . .
Don’t try me.
Sorry for the typo: “acquire.” The light down here in the den/hole/tunnel is kinda sparse. When it’s dimmer, I can see IP addresses better,
My reptile looks out for his own. That’s just what he does. =] -Violet
We appreciate it 🙂
-Daisy
I must thank Stephanie Fitzpatrick for introducing me to you girls. You are doing a great job. Thanks for your thoughts & stay strong.
Thank you for reading and commenting! We really appreciate it!
-Daisy
Thank you! We’re glad you found us, too. -Violet
i don’t feel comfortable mentioning my children’s names too. it hasn’t been a month since i started my blog and i have posted a few photos of myself. in one post, i felt i needed photos of my kids but i was a bit unsure. so i used a photo from when they were little (not that they’re already big now). but for their current pictures, i don’t think i’m ready. i guess maybe i would start mentioning just their nicknames when they are a bit old enough to understand what and who blogs on the internet can reach.
Thank you for commenting! It’s a scary world out there.. Stick around and keep reading and commenting!
-Daisy
Thank you, someone else who believes the same as me! I don’t post pictures either. What I have chosen to write about myself is my decision, but I never write about my child, names are not discussed etc.
Thank you for commenting! I knew we weren’t the only ones who felt this way!
-Daisy
I think when I started blogging my thoughts were, only friends would even bother to see this. But as the year has progressed, quite a bit more then family is reading. I’ve limited the pics of my kids to one, despite my desire to post many more. My own personal info, I am working to change that. You both are very right, we need to protect ourselves as much as we can and while sharing is great, there’s no need to leave the door wide open. Thanks for the reminder!
Unless your blog is totally private, you can’t guarantee it’s only friends! Thanks for commenting! -Daisy