First World Parenting Pains

25 Jul

It’s not enough to suggest your child break a switch from the tree if you want to get him/her to take you seriously. That may have worked for our grandparents’ generation, but our kids could take a beating and keep on Tweeting. No, no, no: for our kids, a certain je nais se quoi is required. Here are some First-World threats that parents in Mongolian farmlands will never, ever utter:

“I’m going to turn off Netflix, and you’re going to have to watch regular tv!” (this little gem was uttered in my very own home last night. As soon as the words came out of Terry’s mouth, I looked at him and said “Wow. That is most definitely a first world punishment”. It worked, though -Daisy)

“If you put the Playstation remote in your mouth one more time, we’re switching to the Wii.”

“Mommy will delete your favorite app from the iPhone if you don’t quit sending people text messages.”

“That’s it, no more fighting: we’re going to listen to the Pandora station MOMMY wants to listen to!”

“Spell words correctly on Facebook or I’m going to proofread everything you post.”

“No, you can’t pause your show to go to the bathroom.”

“Yes, I know commercials are not fun. No, you can’t just fast forward them”

“Sorry, you can’t see the picture they just took” [This one rings true when my (Daisy’s) grand parents are in town. They don’t use digital cameras.]

“Mommy needs her Mac for work. Sorry, you’ll just have to play on the PC for now.”

Have you ever caught yourself saying something outrageously “First World” to your kids? Please share!



7 Responses to “First World Parenting Pains”

  1. The Mayor July 25, 2012 at 6:52 am #

    BTW … Daisy threaten me with
    Terminating my Facebook administrator status if I do n

  2. Jennifer Worrell July 25, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    When my kids aren’t behaving, I threaten to change the TV channel from NIck Jr. to OWN.

    • daisyandviolet July 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

      (That threat would probably work on me, too.)

  3. Hevel July 26, 2012 at 6:17 am #

    I threatened to delete the comics and manga from their Kindle if they don’t read the required summer reading.

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