Tag Archives: EVOO

Real, Authentic Caesar Salad

15 Apr

I bet you got all excited when you read the post title, didn’t you? I bet you LOVE Caesar Salad, huh? Order it every time you go out? Get those cute little bags of lettuce + Caesar salad accoutrements at the grocery store?

I’m sorry to shed light on your ignorance, but you’ve been fed some bullshit. (Both literally and figuratively.)

Real, authentic Caesar Salad is not creamy. Know those bottles of white dressing in the grocery store? That’s not real Caesar. Real Caesar salad is an oily, fishy, cheesy nom nom. You’ve most likely been duped. Unless you’ve watched a chef fix Caesar salad tableside, you’re probably getting some cheap lettuce, bagged Parmesan cheese, and bottled salad dressing on your plate.

This, my friends, is REAL Caesar Salad, courtesy of the Irreverent Reptile.


  • 2 head of Romaine lettuce. (Pull the leaves apart from the spines. They’re just bitter and flavorless.)
  • 8 tablespoons of EVOO
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon mustard powder
  • juice of 1/2 lemon
  • 2 or 3 anchovy filets, mashed. (But the anchovy puree in a tube works just as well, and it’s a bit easier to store.)
  • bread, cubed, for croutons (Don’t be cheap. French or Cuban bread works best.)
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 block of Parmesan cheese, grated

First, the Croutons:

  1. In a small pan, heat some EVOO on medium heat
  2. Throw some garlic salt or garlic powder in the EVOO if you feel like it.
  3. Toss in croutons. Cook each side for about a minute.
  4. Remove from heat and drain.

Now, for the Caesar Salad:

  1. Mix EVOO, garlic, mustard powder, lemon juice, S&P, and anchovies in a large bowl. Kind of grind it down with your spoon. You want everything to mix together well; mash it if you have to.
  2. Coddle the egg: in a small pot, bring water to a rapid boil. Throw the egg in there for 20 seconds. Remove it and immediately place it under cold running water to stop the cooking process. This kills any harmful bacteria without removing the yolk’s binding properties.[edit: while this method allegedly eliminates the harmful bacteria, Daisy and Violet do NOT guarantee it. We have no empirical evidence to prove that coddling the egg will protect you completely. If you have any reservations about potentially coming in contact with bacteria found in raw eggs, please omit this step.]
  3. Separate the egg yolk from the egg white. Put aside.
  4. Toss lettuce into the large bowl. Add the coddled egg yolk, toss some more. Add croutons and Parmesan cheese. Toss some more. Enjoy.

A Home-Grown Gazpacho Lover

12 Apr

A native Floridian, I naturally gravitate toward any meal that is a) healthy, b) fresh, and c) summer approved. Know how you cold-climate people love your heavy soups and stews in the dead of winter? That’s how we feel about cold dishes during the summer. It’s almost therapeutic.

My father has been making this amazing Gazpacho forever. It’s amazing. It’s healthy as shit. It’s inexpensive to make. It can be a side dish or its own vegetarian dinner. It’s fun to make this for picnics, BBQs, potlucks, etc, and convince people that I’m this incredible gourmet. If they only knew how easy it was to make, they’d stop peppering me with compliments, so let’s just keep this secret to ourselves, k?


  • 2 large tomatoes, peeled and chopped.

(Quick, here’s how to effectively peel a tomato: boil some water. Drop the tomato in for 10 – 15 seconds. Pull it out and drop it in an ice bath. Skin comes right off!)

  • 1 cucumber, peeled and chopped
  • 1 medium onion, skinned and chopped
  • ½  green pepper, seeded and chopped.
  • 24 oz. tomato juice (V8 will work just fine.)
  • ½ cup EVOO
  • ¾ cup red wine vinegar
  • Tobasco, Salt/Pepper, to taste


  1. Place the veggies in a blender with 2 cups of tomato juice. Puree.
  2. In a large bowl, mix the puree, EVOO, vinegar, Tobasco, and remainder of tomato juice. Stir well.
  3. Chill and serve.

Beef Stew of the Gods

2 Apr

One of the staples of my childhood dinners was Mommy’s Beef Stew. We’d eat it for dinner a few times per month, and it was one of the few meals she could make that would appease all of us. (My little brother refused vegetables, and Mom was only eating poultry and fish for a long time, so it was hard to find meals that made all of us happy.) Several years ago, Mommy passed the recipe down to me. Happy Happy Joy Joy! With my own home to run now, I make this beef stew several times per month.

Somehow, Daisy didn’t know I had this recipe. We were talking on the phone the other day, and she reminisced about my mother’s delicious beef stew. When I told her that I had the recipe and was willing to share, she actually cried tears of joy. In honor of Daisy’s successful first attempt at this dish, I’m going to share it with you, Lovely Readers. It’s easy as shit, delicious, and makes so much that you can enjoy leftovers the next day!


  • Flour and Salt/Pepper (to dredge meat)
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (heretofore referred to as EVOO. Thanks, Rach!)
  • Stew Meat, cubed
  • 4 cups beef broth
  • 1 small can tomato paste
  • Potatoes (I usually do 1.5 per person, so if you’re cooking for two people, use 3 potatoes, etc)
  • Carrots (same as above)


  1. Pour flour in a bowl. Season heavily with salt and pepper. Dredge the stew meat in the flour mix.
  2. Drizzle the EVOO in a large pan or Dutch oven and turn stove to medium heat. (If you’re going to toss in chopped onion or garlic, now’s the time to do it.)
  3. Brown the meat for a few minutes. Stir regularly.
  4. Add tomato paste and broth. Stir some more.
  5. Turn the heat down and simmer the concoction for an hour. Fucking stir. That’s what I always mess up; I under-stir and burn shit. Please stir.
  6. Add the potatoes and carrots. Simmer for another hour. And for the love of all things holy, FUCKING STIR!
  7. Serve when meat is tender and potatoes fall apart with a fork.

You’re welcome.

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